Okay… the installer is here – seems like a nice guy.  That does not help a lot.  I took some meds to calm me, and that is helping.  But I can feel my anxiety at about 7 – not horribly high, but disturbing.

At least he is very quick – more than half done in 40 minutes.  There are 11 blinds to put up.  Now he is putting up the wood ones.  I had him do my office first so I could hide in here.  My new-and-improved hidey hole.

He is almost done… it has not been as bad as I had thought… but the waiting is always the worse part.  My brain goes too fast thinking of things that could go wrong.  I can think of lots of things that can go wrong…

He is done, and gone.  This has been very draining… I feel like hiding out in bed for a while… with the kitties.

What hurt the most has having to spend so much of my moving time watching, or especially directing others in doing the work I should be doing myself.  I hate it!  It makes me feel really bad to just have to stand or even sit there while Lori and friends do the hard work.

My back is better now, but I have had some knee issues the last few days… I almost fell down the stairs when my right knee gave out.  My left knee hurts going up the stairs, and my right knee hurts coming down – at least there is some balance to it.

But it leaves me feel bad about what I can’t do!

I like my Blog, and I want to get back into it more.  So I will be thinking of Radical Ideas I can try to foist off on you all!  That’s my favorite part.

But seriously… my brain is starting to settle down, and work more appropriately again.  My overall anxiety is starting to decrease, and I have had less depression recently.  I’m still too busy, but I feel better.

So… am I back?  or am I not so much?  I don’t know yet.  But please hang in there for me.

My prolonged struggles have left me tired, drained, and empty.  And I just have myself to blame, and to fix the situation.  I am trying to rest my brain some… that will help.  This too will pass.

Session was good, there was a lot to talk about.  I have been at a high stress level now for a couple of months, and I have not been doing very well with it.  I have also been fighting several pains that have limited my mobility.

But I am feeling very bad about not getting more done this week.  I feel right on the edge of crashing almost all the time.  And I think I have finally fallen down.  I have to get myself back up somehow… there is too much to do, and I am falling behind.

In session we talked about how to avoid some issues coming up, but it has not worked well – it’s only been a day, but the plan seems to be lacking. 

Start Again!

I have been away from Blogging too long, but I have had too many struggles along the way.  I have started a Blog about Session, and where my brain is… maybe later today…

So I was off for a whole 4 days, and just missed it.  I am still struggling with being pushed to my limits with so much going on, but there is an end in sight.

So I will be seeing most of you there… in the FB-in’ Zone.